How Many Old Fashions Does It Take To Get Drunk Alcoholism – An Insight From a Clear Mind With Both Eyes Focused

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Alcoholism – An Insight From a Clear Mind With Both Eyes Focused

As I tried to keep myself clean, I realized that I had to give up friends I had been with for years. It does not sound easy. I knew what my friend would say. Some of their comments are “You can have a couple, you do not have to get drunk” or “You can still hang out with us and you do not have to drink alcohol, you can drink coffee or coffee. You can be a driver. The idea that we have set. ”Their thoughts will not work for me and many other alcoholics. Hang out with non-drinkers. Hang out with your drinking buddies is usually short-lived. Recurrences are real.

As in my case, some friends will curse you and think you are too good for them. I have a childhood friend who would lift a bottle to his mouth and drink in front of me as close as he could get. Then gesture for me to share the bottle. He knew I was in the early stages of my tranquility and that I was vulnerable. Needless to say, he is no longer my friend and I have known him all my life. Friends and acquaintances will be cruel, so one has to be careful.

Then there are some real friends who care. I have a friend who drinks alcohol, but he is not an alcoholic. I don’t think I ever saw him drunk. He drinks responsibly. He knows I stock up in my fridge with a few beers, but he also thinks enough not to get drunk and disgusting around me. He usually refuses my offer of a beer. He will drink bottled water with me. These are friends to keep. The beer I keep around the house is no longer tempting, so I leave it for the responsible guests.

I was heartbroken when I decided to stop drinking. I also do not know myself. What if I do not like myself? I was scared to death because I wanted to be clean and conscious. I wonder how boring my social life will be. I thought of friends I would never have again. I thought of the fun I would never have again. I fear the idea of ​​socializing with wise people. I dread the idea of ​​attending an anonymous alcoholic meeting and telling the truth about myself. I’m afraid to die in silence

I think most alcoholics who recover quickly are afraid of the idea of ​​wanting to be clean and calm. It was the greatest cultural surprise for me. I have been drinking since I was 14 years old. I was an alcoholic at 22 years old. Then I continued to drink until I was 50 years old. During all those years of drinking, I probably stopped drinking only three or four times. The longest period of fasting was only 60 days, and 30 of them were incarcerated or in inpatient wards.

My life story as an alcoholic is no different from other alcoholics. We all have a lot in common, some more serious than others. We are not different. To put it mildly, we all think short and we create our own problems. We blame others and live in the past. We hate ourselves as we hate others. We hate our addiction and do nothing. We abuse our health and laugh about it. We complain like there is no tomorrow. Our lives are bad, the law stinks, our boss is stupid and our girlfriend or wife is taking us to the grave first.

It wasn’t until the 50s – and 11 DUIs later – that I finally looked at my hard life and wondered where I was going. I focused on my cloud mirror. It was on July 4, 2003, that I set out on a solo mission to camp. I chose a place by the lake. I always feel calm when there are lakes, rivers, streams, seas or mountains nearby. I followed my routine. I searched and found a bar near my camp. My rule is that there must be a drinking place nearby. I rarely drink alone. I do not really understand why people want to drink alone. Alcoholism itself is not my cup of tea or wine.

As I was drinking beer at the bar, I noticed that no one but me was in the bar. I wondered to myself how many times this had happened. It’s a holiday again – another reason to drink. This setting is no different than before, the bartender is watching TV in this dark and quiet room. Here I am again – drinking beer to get drunk and stupid. Outside, it was a beautiful day – warm and sunny. Other people are enjoying the weather and I am in a dark tavern. I think how stupid this is. I reminded myself of a song by Charlie Daniels Band. The lyrics go like this: “Sit on a crane, act like a fool, that’s what I’m doing.” Today, sitting here drinking and trying to think, ‘I’m getting rid of my problem. Inject me another, I think I ended up with another. I’m drinking ‘goodbye my baby’.

I have been drinking more than ever since my last DUI about two months ago. I have not been convicted yet and I am waiting for my day in court soon. I dare the law to arrest me again. I can not control and I do not care. Every weekend I get drunk, drive and go out. I can hardly remember anything.

Today seems different than before. I do not plan today to stop drinking – it really did happen. I left the bar near my camp after drinking a single beer. I thought I might come back in the evening to party, but I did not. I stayed at camp and I prayed and hoped that one day I would stop drinking, I never thought this was the day. I never prayed often. But today I feel like the most popular cliché ever belongs to me – “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.” I never drank any more alcohol that day, and I have not had one since. This is the 4th of July to remember …National Independence Day, My independence from alcohol.

As the days lead to weeks and weeks to months – then years I feel I have Put my monster to rest. I enjoy feeling healthy. Gone are the days of sickness and hanging for four days, rewarding one day of destruction. It reached that point, drinking one day, sick for four days. Alcohol hurt me badly.

I looked at my previous behavior patterns and made sure not to fall or fail like I did many times before. . I make a point, not to preach and brag to everyone I know, telling them I kick the habit. I humbled myself by moving forward day by day – day by day. My mind is clear now and my priorities are straight.

I stopped drinking at the right time, but for many years it was too late. The law has changed. There is no smoking in the bar. The choice is to smoke outside or go to an Indian-owned casino. When I stopped drinking, I stopped smoking. Drinking and smoking joined hands with me. I was relieved in my non-smoking quest – twice. I do not believe that bars and restaurants stink. I never smoked in my house or in my car, but my clothes were still smoky. I sprayed my clothes The wind– It is the only answer for smelly clothes.

If one believes that being clean and having a good conscience will change their world for the better, Be a fool. Arguments with their significant other will remain. When I woke up, I knew what my girlfriend was really like – so we broke up and I Walk to the crossroads. That is the first and only time that etiquette is to blame. My other relationships through years of drinking always end my mistakes – each of them.

After about a year and a half of silence, I had an accident that was my fault. I turned to the front of the car, which I could not see. I failed to give the right result. Accidents still happen when you are conscious. This time, my old stinking attitude was not there. If I drink alcohol, I will be arrested for DUI and sent to prison. Then when I was released, it meant getting drunk and continuing to ride my problem bike away in a sea of ​​illusions. Stools still occur when you do not drink. Of course, on the day I drank, I admitted that I was driving under the influence of alcohol, rather than driving straight.

When I drink, my pattern is clear and it is shown to the waist. If I had to go out to do my laundry, I made sure the laundry was near a guesthouse or bar. When I need to have my car serviced, it is better to have a bar nearby or on the street. I did not expect to attend sports events or concerts without drinking alcohol. Are there times when I can not remember how stupid? Then surely my desire to have a partner leads to sometimes 8 hours or more of drinking. All the bars and restaurants I frequented probably had time for me to type. That’s how I made my rules. It was my second job.

When I stopped drinking, my social life became lonely. I felt lonely at first. This time I do not want to be in a relationship. It seems like I just eat, work and sleep 24/7. It seems very strange. If I make my life calm, it will be on my own terms and it will work. The more days I achieve calmness, the better.

When my wife Bobby Died of cancer in 2001, I fell into a dark depression. The grief of my loss is very difficult to deal with. I started drinking heavily to forget the aches and pains. She is my whole world. How could this happen? Do I have to perish with the bottle for the rest of my life? If there is a God, why does He allow this? God must have known what she had done to improve my life. When I married her, I kept my drinking, but not all the time. Bobbie refused to drink and drive. She despises who does. Bobby Is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I always choose my women that I am involved in that do not drink alcohol at all or those who drink responsibly. I can not stand drunken women. I would say little things at the bar, but that’s it.

On November 13, 2005, my brother. Mark Died slowly and painfully – from alcoholism. He continued to drink despite a doctor’s order. He had cirrhosis of the liver. His last drink was five days before he bled to death. He is only 55 years old.

On August 1, 1975, my older brother. Donald Take a gun to his mouth. I was the one who found him. He was drunk and depressed on the day of his death. He is a full-fledged alcoholic. He is only 36 years old.

Something amazing has happened to me since I stopped drinking. My involvement in the workplace has greatly improved. The quality and quantity of my work is excellent. I feel like I don’t need to smoke. I slept better. I look better. My health has been restored. My depression improved. I went on a real vacation on my own. I have never done it before. I found a lot of good things about myself. My preferences are more important to me. I immediately became interested in writing, photography, gardening, camping, and fishing. I love listening to music and organizing my music library, books and movies. I learned to use a computer, now I can not stand it. I bought three guitars and a keyboard to learn to play and write songs. I own and manage three websites. And last but not least – I’m writing articles on the internet and I’m writing a book about my life and my struggles with alcohol, depression and sadness.

There are many positive things about becoming an alcoholic. The world around me seems better. I feel at peace with myself. I no longer hate myself and others around me. I enjoy an easy and simple lifestyle. I will continue to enjoy peace of mind with both eyes focused.

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