Old-Fashioned Teacher Boys On One Side Girls On Other Sexuality and Autism (Part 1)

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Sexuality and Autism (Part 1)

Many parents experience great anxiety when their autistic child reaches puberty. Ah, what to do? Should we put our daughter on birth control? Should we try to explain sexuality to our son who can’t sit still or pay attention for more than a minute? It is a dilemma and every child faces this time in their life.

The first question many people ask is, “Do autistic people have sex?” Like asking if it will get dark outside tonight. Of course, the answer is “yes”. It may not be the answer you want to hear but it is the right answer you have to face your child.

Another question you may have is, “Should I talk to my child about sex?” This answer has a lot to do with your child’s ability level. If your son/daughter has Asperger syndrome, then the answer is a definite, “yes.” If your child cannot tie his shoes or feed himself, then you need to determine if your child will gain anything from this conversation.

Other parents wonder if their young adult will become sexually active. This, like many things about autism, is an interesting and difficult question. First, it is not uncommon for both boys and girls to masturbate. Sometimes, depending on where a person appears on the spectrum, masturbation can occur in places that may be embarrassing. In my years of teaching the autistic population, we sometimes did this in the classroom. We talked to the school psychologist about this situation and her recommendation was to remove the child from the classroom and take him/her to the bathroom for privacy. This, I know, is not a solution that everyone agrees with. For this reason, in my opinion, every teacher and every parent should find their own satisfactory solution. Apart from masturbation, sexual relations with another person are very possible. Again, it depends on your child’s ability level.

It is interesting to note that significantly more autistic adults are asexual than the rest of the population. It is also believed that there is a higher percentage of autistic gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders than the general population. Part of the reason for this is that there is not such a strong need for compliance. Another interesting fact is that many more gay autistics are celibate. This is by choice.

Some parents wonder if their child will ever date, find a boyfriend and maybe even get married. Naturally, this scenario is much lower than the rest of the population. There are couples who get married. However, these are usually higher-functioning autistics. Some of the reasons why an autistic person may not get into a relationship is the simple fact that it can be very difficult for a socially disabled person to find a partner. More often than not, it is unusual for a woman to make out with a man. However, the male, due to his inexperience, may not react appropriately, simply because he does not know how.

Part 2 will delve a little deeper into sexuality and autistic young adults.

Until next time, have a great day and remember to take good care of yourself!

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