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How to Write a Paper in One Night
Being in college is a job. It takes a lot of work, carefully planned throughout the week, or month, or quarter to make sure everything is done with the attention it deserves…. Are you still laughing? No one takes the “necessary” time to properly complete their college work. No, maybe it’s a rush to fill out a 10 page paper at the end of every week or two or learn 200 years of ancient Roman history in one night. You all do, I did. It’s probably a better training skill than all the random stuff you “learn”, because actually in real life you think you have time to sit down and see everything that comes into your life ahead of time. have Yeah… didn’t think so.
However, for those of you who are entering college fearing the boredom and ease of High School, you’re probably not prepared for the amount of work you’ll be putting in at the last second. I’m not saying it’s easy just because you’ll procrastinate. No, it’s still hard. You should really take the time to do your homework properly. You won’t, and that’s why you need to learn how to push back. It is a beautiful art, in which I feel that I have become something like Renoir.
First, make sure you have all your books and notes. If you don’t go to class, which is totally for those who cheat, you will likely get them from a classmate. Also, double check and make sure your professor doesn’t have a website. They’ll usually tell you, but more than once I’ve seen class notes sitting in an online archive, especially now that 90% of them put everything they teach you into PowerPoint presentations and then only every hour of reads to you sun (yes, lazy). It usually only takes an extra 30 seconds out of their day to put things online, and then when they get twenty extra emails a week asking for lecture notes, they just have to point you to the site. Well, some people are a bit more rude about their students, they don’t even bother to come to class and don’t openly present the said notes. However, for sick students and what not, they will put them online to save the paper and all it takes is a few quick Google searches or an email to a sick student and you have your notes. Or… just ask a friend. But then you really focus on them paying attention.
You should also have books. If you’ve never bothered to buy them because you’re just going to take notes or go on sparknotes, then you better go buy them, because BS your way into a paper will at least take some resources. You can’t magically extract information from being around smarter people. School would be a lot easier if that was the case.
So, sit down and start reading. Yes, you will read a lot the night before your work. But, this is better than doing all the prescribed reading, because now you are looking for specific information. Instead of general learning (which will just stick around and mess up your brain later) you do targeted research. For the eighth time, and he doesn’t remember any of it annoying. You should at least have a theme. If not, start surfing the message boards and outsmart someone smarter than you. However, never take their job. The last thing you need is to get kicked out of school for plagiarism. It’s lazy and embarrassing. He steals concepts, but never words. And if you steal a concept from half of their work, credit them. Your university will not tolerate cheating. You’ll be so red tape and blacklisted, you might as well go and get an application at Jack in the Box, and trust me you don’t want to work in fast food.
You can’t delay now. You’ve been doing this for three weeks, so I’m sorry (I know it hurts), but in terms of actual physical writing time, you’ll need at least three hours to write your paper, which is to say nothing of writing it. . And to write it is so sad to see the quote and that thought problem. Sit down, grab an energy drink and a bag of chips, close your door and put on some headphones. No TV, and put your phone on the charger. Now open the word processor and just start typing.
Maybe you think you have writer’s block. But, writer’s block isn’t completely dependent on you having no idea what you’re talking about. You’re stuck with the second one now, so just read about your topic and find the bits and pieces to fit.
Here’s what most people don’t realize is that the standard writing process isn’t effective for you. You are not projecting, nor are you brainstorming. This is what you should do two weeks in advance. No, you are writing your paper, so make sure you have an idea and just start writing and keep writing until you have a thesis in some form.
I usually start as broad as possible, and just start talking. If I write about the Hero Quest of Pip in Great Expectations, I start by talking about Greek Mythology and the origin of the classical hero. On my way, I will talk about the modern hero, then about the changes made in the industrial age, and how Dickens rewrites the archetype for his comedy, and finally I will start talking about Pip. By now you should have a general idea of what you want to say. It may be general but you will clarify in the next few paragraphs, and then go back and rewrite the first paragraph.
Paragraph one is almost always rubbish. Especially with this method, because after reading 30 of these lovely last-minute essays, your tired, exasperated professor will put a big red X through everything that doesn’t relate to your paper, and that’s it. The previously understood sentences are completely unrelated.
But now you can start stealing from the text. Break down a word and make a point. Break another word and make another point. If your thesis ends up being something incredibly broad and useless, like “Pip’s quest from anonymity and worthlessness to a position of wealth and power in London mirrors the quests of classic heroes, but works with Dickensian views of industrial England” you’re still fine. It looks smart and has a lot of promise. Now just find specific words and create a quote. Start at the beginning of his transformation, talk about his childhood, then go to when he transforms, then compare it to old Hero quests, then show how they are different.
Almost any paper, if written quickly can be written in something simple and very simple, a compare and contrast paper. You choose an important topic from the book you just “read”. Find a resource that mirrors or better yet challenges this topic and compare the two. Don’t just list how they are different. That’s high school stuff right there. You want to write exactly how the outside source changes the way you think about your book. It sounds hard but just think about it. You have high hopes. It has a main character who goes on some kind of quest. Now you have a classic archetype with hundreds of sources to draw from. You draw a basic outline of this archetype and apply it to Pip’s quest and how he fits, and when he doesn’t fit. Now you end your paper by explaining why it sometimes doesn’t. Which brings you back to the Dickensian views section. You almost wrote a paper saying, Pip’s quest is classic but different because Dickens was writing about a different time in human history. Very simple; you are not telling anyone anything new, but three things will guarantee a good grade.
1. If you ever write well. You must be a half decent writer, which I’ll assume you are if you’re in college.
2. Professors love external references. It shows initiative and research and makes it look like you’ve done an extra job (which you haven’t). I wrote papers in one night without a draft and without reading them back to myself and received comments that I worked on for hours. Not exactly.
3. Believing in your words. Say everything with absolute certainty, and back it up with a word. Do this enough and even if you’re wrong, it will look like you’ve made a good point, which earns you brownie points.
Writing a paper is a complicated task but it is also a versatile task that can be done very quickly and easily if you know how. I wrote three papers in two days; two of them got 10 pages, one got 25 pages, and 3.8 and two got 3.7. It’s a matter of confidence and above all a complete lack of fear of being too lazy.
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