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Principles From Kindergarten Apply To Successful Sales
The Law of Respect recognizes that all people need and want praise, recognition and approval. Acceptance and appreciation are two of our deepest desires; we are never satisfied. William James once said, “The deepest principle of human nature is to be appreciated.” You can praise a simple child and watch them rise to the top of the world. We know how a simple thank you can make our day. Humans have a psychological need to be respected and accepted. We need love to satisfy our need for belonging, we want praise to satisfy our need for self-worth, and we want approval to satisfy our need for personal worth.
In the process of persuasion, one needs to know that people will act and behave in a certain way in order to get their praise accepted. If you present your request in a way that compliments or pleases your listeners, they will be more inclined to not only follow through, but willingly do so. Conflict has the power to change behavior because it makes the recipient feel needed and valued. Now one has a reputation to live up to or an opportunity to prove the praise right. Besides, it’s hard to disagree and agree with people who admire you, agree with you, and do nice things for you.
Learning how to persuade and influence will make the difference between hoping for a better income and having a better income. Be aware of common mistakes that presenters and persuaders make that lead to losing the deal. Get your free report 10 Mistakes That Keep Costing Thousands and explode your income today.
Self-esteem is the desire of many people. It is self-belief or self-satisfaction. Where does self-confidence come from? People who are truly happy and comfortable with themselves are those who can live with and achieve what they want, not what they think others want. When people actually behave this way, they are nicer to be around. They tend to be more generous, cheerful and open. They fulfill their own needs, but are careful to consider the needs of others.
People with self-respect are strong and confident, meaning they can admit when they are wrong. They don’t open to criticism. Their self-esteem affects all aspects of their lives: their jobs, their education, their relationships, etc. After an in-depth study, the National Institute of Student Motivation also rated self-esteem as more effective than IQ in academic achievement. Other studies have shown that self-esteem even affects your income level.
Unfortunately, many studies show that Americans in general do not enjoy high self-esteem. Two out of three Americans suffer from varying degrees of low self-esteem. In a study on child development, 80 percent of children entering third grade said they felt good about themselves. By fifth grade, the number dropped to 20 percent. By their senior year of high school, only 5 percent of seniors said they felt good about themselves. To some degree, we all suffer from low self-esteem in various areas of our lives, whether it’s our IQ, our looks, our education, or how we look in a swimsuit. A short list of symptoms associated with low self-esteem include: inability to trust others, aggressive behavior, gossiping, angering others, criticizing others, inability to take criticism, defensiveness, withdrawal, and inability to accept praise.
There are two reasons why our culture suffers so much from its devaluation. First, media and advertising constantly show us how we should look, what we should drive, what we should smell like, etc. The message is that we are never good enough. We see images of beauty, fashion, popularity and attractiveness that we can never measure. These pictures constantly remind us that we need to improve ourselves and that there is always someone better than us. Second, we judge and measure ourselves not by our own standards, but by the standards of others. But because we think, believe, and assume that we have to measure up to someone else’s standards, we feel miserable and second-rate, and conclude that there is nothing wrong with us.
Pride is the exact opposite of self-confidence. A proud person does not enjoy having something, but simply having more of it than someone else. It is the comparison that makes you proud, the pleasure of being above others. Contrary to popular opinion, there is no lasting joy or fulfillment in pride. Peace and contentment will never come because there will always be the possibility that something or someone bigger and better will come along. A man who enjoys his position at the top of a mountain can never remain comfortable for long. Pride is a false sense of accomplishment because it is not based on true or pure motives. As CS Lewis observed, “Pride is a cancer of the soul; it eats away the possibility of love, or happiness, or even common sense.”
Pride is self-security in external things such as possessions, rank, influence, or position. People with high pride constantly compare themselves to others to help them feel better about themselves. They like to gossip and tease others. They are always worried about who is right instead of what is right. They have a scarcity mentality that is never enough for everyone. As Stephen R. Covey wrote, “A mindset of abundance comes from inner security, not outer rules,
Self-esteem and pride are actually opposites, although the concepts are often thought to be synonymous. Pride is often a red flag for low self-esteem because people use it to hide their weaknesses and insecurities. People who suffer from pride usually have a low self-esteem. They will often bully or threaten others in order to feel and express their importance. With self-confidence, there is an inner security of who you are. You are good with who you are and what you do. You like to help others and are not interested in what people think. You love to nurture others and enjoy an abundance mentality.
Note the comparison between the two features:
Pride — Self-confidence
External security — internal security
Scarcity mentality — Abundance mentality
Comparing with others — There is no need to compare
Value in homes and offices — Value in yourself
Brings others to tears — Lifts others
Whose sorrow is true — Sorrow that is true
How does self-confidence affect persuasion? Elaine Walster Hatfield did a study that gives us an example. She found that a woman who is dating a man is more likely to be attracted to him than a woman whose self-esteem is not low, if her self-esteem is temporarily wounded. This explains the good old rebound effect whereby a person quickly finds himself in a new relationship right after one has ended, usually with someone he wouldn’t work with under “normal conditions”. Undoubtedly, respect is at the top of the list of all human needs. When you’re in a persuasive situation and not sure what to do, helping your prospect feel important is the wrong place to start.
Persuasion is the missing piece of the puzzle that will crack the code to dramatically increase your income, improve your relationships, and help you get what you want, when you want it, and your friends for life. win Ask yourself how much money and income you have lost because you failed to persuade and influence. Think about it. No doubt you’ve had some success, but think about the times you failed to make it happen. Has there ever been a time when you didn’t achieve your goal? Couldn’t you convince someone to do something? Have you reached your full potential? Can you motivate yourself and others to achieve more and accomplish your goals? What about your relationships? Imagine being able to overcome objections before they happen, knowing what your prospect is thinking and feeling, feeling more confident in your ability to persuade.
Kurt Mortensen’s trademark is Magnetic Persuasion; Instead of convincing others, he teaches that you must attract them, like a magnet attracts metal sheets. It teaches that sales have changed and the consumer has become significantly more sophisticated and skeptical over the last five years. Most persuaders only use 2 or 3 persuasion techniques when there are actually 120!
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