Respond To New Environment In A Negative Fashion At First I Can Tell You Why Your Spouse is Still Set on Ending the Marriage

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I Can Tell You Why Your Spouse is Still Set on Ending the Marriage

OK, that was a very bold thing to say, I know. Every marriage is different in some way and no two divorces are exactly the same. So why do I say that I can tell you why your partner is still on the verge of ending the marriage? There are some age-related truths that I want to share with you that are present in almost every troubled marriage. More than likely, you will find some similarities that apply to yours as well.

First of all, why do two people break up? It’s okay to answer that it might be easier to talk about why you got married in the first place. The two of you created an environment together that you both enjoyed. You had so much fun you didn’t want it to end! So you are united in marriage, obviously both believe that it will last forever. But then something happened. It might have been a year later, it might have been 20 years, it doesn’t matter. It was what it was the environment was not maintained properly and changed. Now your partner finds himself/herself in an environment he/she does not want to be in.

Now, as long as this remains true, no amount of begging or pleading, promises of change, gifts, phone calls, etc. will convince your partner to stay in the marriage. And I will share something else with you. That may be your biggest problem! To the, the more you pull, the farther they go. The more desperate you seem the less attractive you seem, and the more you remind them why they want this environment!

Instead, if you were the whole change your response to the situation and hold back? Love your spouse enough to respect their desire to separate and give them the space to do so. Am I completely crazy? Surprisingly, this is more effective than you realize! Often it has the effect of taking your partner by surprise and making them stop and think about the enormity of their decision. You no longer reinforce their negative perceptions of you and this causes them to see you in a better light. The person they were attracted to in the first place!

Does this always work? I don’t. But the chances of success with this approach are much better than with the tired old negative and hopeless behavior. I strongly encourage you to start using this method now. But you should be aware of something. This will probably buy you some time though the is don’t save your marriage on your own! For that you will need an action plan using proven techniques.

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